CUSTOMER: "What do you call the fatty tissue surrounding the vagina? The wife."
ME: *Fake smile* "Heh heh. Yeah." ACTUALLY thinking: "I want to stab you in the eye with this pen."
THAT is one thing that I've hated about myself for years and after this week I've decided it has to stop. One person I didn't want to be fake around was her and I couldn't help it.
I hate people. Yet I'm friendly to everyone. I just smile and nod. I try to get on as well as I can without causing offence to anyone. I act happy to put other people at ease. Well I'M not at ease around them because I'm being extremely fake and I HATE it. Why should I make myself uneasy to make THEM feel better.
So here you are. I scowl all the time. That's how I look. I'm not bored. I have a bad attitude. I don't jump around and act happy all the time. It doesn't mean I'm NOT happy. I have a bad attitude. I probably don't like you and I'm not going to pretend I do anymore.
Hmmm. I've not really thought out what I want to say so that may not make much sense. I'll probably rewrite it later when I've given it more thought.