Well, here I am at home on my own. I got up and took missus for her first day of work this morning so I'm sat here and she's off being all... productive and crap.
We saw Pete on the way and talked to him for a while. He said I should be glad I'm not in because the G and S company are in and it's pretty dangerous. I'd still like to be there. I love working there.
Speaking of work, I may be going in to edit a film at SIF for the first time in about a year and a half. I'm not feeling too comfortable about it. I can just see it being awful the way it used to be and it came completely out of no-where which puzzles me. Still, it's money and we'll see how it goes.
I've been thinking a lot about last year recently. It all make me feel like such a weak and horrible person; the things I did and the way I thought, it was really so far from who I actually was it makes me sick to think it was me. I was not much better than everyone else. I was always hard on myself about honesty, my morals and my resolve to do what I thought was right. Maybe the latter was the thing that got so easily exploited and caused most of it. I just wish I hadn't lost that when Naomi and I fell out or whatever it was. I wish I'd stayed true to her in every way. Not just in my heart as I did. It was one thing to always know she was my soul-mate and always lover her, but it would have been another thing entirely to show it by pledging myself to her even when she didn't want me. I just thought there was no point and everything was finished between us and I should get on with my life. I hate myself for being weak at that time specifically. Perhaps that was for the best in some ways. It taught me a lot of lessons about trusting people.
I just made the bed there and I've lost my train of thought.
Anyway, I was doing...something earlier, no idea what, and I suddely thought about searching for my facebattle profile again. I've not been able to find it before because it seems like they don't cache. Today, however I found 2 of mine and one of Naomi's. One of them is a later one from around my birthday and it's got things on it that I don't like seeing and I know Naomi wont like. Nothing serious, just me being nice to people that didn't really warrant it. The second one of mine was from when it was first made and it has comments by my missus, the way we used to talk to each other when we first fell in love. One of the greatest things I've ever seen is when a guy commented on her profile that the two of us really had something when, in actual fact, we didn't. We were just friends, but it was that obvious there was something between us. Neither of us ever saw it. We didn't think in those terms. We were just what we were. Shane and Naomi: two halfs of the same soul. Just two people who instinctively understood each other and were never going to be seperated now that we'd found each other. Not that we needed each other in a bad way, just that we were each other and knew that we were never going to be apart from then on. It just didn't seem possible to us. Like the connection you have with your family only more so. It wasn't a blood conection or a love connection, it was so, so much more.
Ok, I dunno what else to write about and I've rambled long enough. Not long until I fetch my missus home.
^_^